Story: Where I intend to die

Thank Zeus for Kalymnos! A Greek island that is full of character and a long lost charm the world would be well advised to rediscover.
I retire in about 8 years, Kalymnos is where I shall end up and end my days.
You see, since seeing the movie “The Vikings” as a small boy I’ve always thought that a Viking funeral with the burning boat gently being carried out by the tide was the perfect send off. In the UK however, health and safety and more red tape than a Soviet recording studio would make that impossible.
Here’s where Kalymnos fits the bill, for instance, a great party trick is to throw dynamite over the balcony of the host residence into the sea, just to hear it go boom. It’s not to say that Kalymnians are reckless - far from it - but in a world governed by the ‘nanny state’, Kalymnos is just far enough away to really let her hair down once in a while and go unnoticed.
Back to the Vikings. On one of my many trips there I spent an evening in the company of Michael - he owns the Hotel Themis in Myrties, highly recommended. The subject of age and the prospect of talking your way past St. Peter came up and I mentioned the funeral plans.
Once Mike stopped laughing and realised I was serious and wondered what the possibilities were he simply shrugged his shoulders and said “No problem, I’ll even sell you a boat”. My reply was: “What about the authorities, the police?” “The cops will probably set fire to it themselves, even they like a good party!”
Kalymnos has an enviable attitude, “if someone does get their fingers singed in the process they only have themselves to blame”. Everyone has time for you and since the story got round people keep shaking boxes of matches at me when I walk by.
Kalymnos is rugged, hot, very Greek and has the most wonderful people on earth that’s what makes it so beautiful, that’s what keeps me going back there and Viking funeral or not, it’s why I shall die there.
So, a long time in the future when I finally peg out, I’m certain my survivors will post my demise on the interweb you’re all invited to shoot flaming arrows at the boat and watch me meet my maker to the sound of “The Vikings” theme tune. Bring your own dynamite for the party later in the day.