How To: Don’t Be A Devadatta: How To Behave Yourself In A Buddhist Temple

If you’re headed to Asia, especially Southeast Asia, you’re going to be visiting a lot of Buddhist temples. It can be a powerful experience – the chanting, the stoic gilded Buddhas, a steady stream of deeply affected worshippers and the slow burn of incense all swirl together to make for ethereal memories.

You’ll also encounter a lot of people just like you, tourists looking for everything from true inner peace to the perfect Buddha-monk-combo snapshot. I’ve seen scores of well intentioned but oblivious travelers make terrible mistakes in temples and the first time I visited Southeast Asia I fretted constantly about inadvertently playing the fool in holy spaces. I’m not ashamed to admit that I goofed up many times before finally getting it right, but after seven months of observation, trial and error, I learned a few things. Here are the most important guidelines:

Observe Classroom Rules
In general, if it wasn’t allowed in your High School classroom, it’s probably not allowed in the temple. Gum, food, loud talking, horseplay or anything that distracts from the worship at hand is a no no. Passing notes to your friends may be ok, as long as they ask questions like, “Does you think Buddha likes me? Check [Yes], [No] or [Maybe].”

Show Less Skin
I know, you’re thinking, “It’s 95 degrees Fahrenheit and almost 100% humidity, I’ll be damned if I’m going to put on a long sleeved shirt and pants.” The modesty-in-hot-weather custom seems to be the hardest for most Western travelers to adapt to, which is a shame because researching and then adhering to local dress codes buys you a tremendous amount of respect. This is especially true at temples, where you may even be turned away if you’re not dressed appropriately. At a bare minimum, cover your shoulders and legs (below the knee) when you enter any temple. For women, it’s always helpful to carry a shawl or rain jacket for last minute cover-ups. For men, those tacky zip on, zip off pant legs are a great face-saver. When in doubt about the strictness of a particular location, observe the locals and do as they do. You can never be too modest.

Go Barefoot
It doesn’t take a zen master to realize that the big, stinky pile of loafers outside the temple means you should take yours off too. This rule does vary from country to country and sometimes even from sanctuary to sanctuary within a particular temple complex, so keep on your toes and follow the lead of the locals.

Sitting and What To Do With Your Legs
One of the best ways to enjoy a temple is to use it for what it was originally intended – quiet meditation and introspection. Sit or kneel in front of the main shrine for as long as you like, but always point your legs and feet away from the Buddha or any attending monk. Cross your legs or tuck them underneath you. Pointing anything at anyone is generally considered rude in Buddhist countries, especially your trail-worn feet.

Don’t Touch That Buddha
“But he’s so cute!” I once heard a traveler in Laos say, when she was politely asked to stop caressing a reclining Buddha’s baby face. As welcoming as he may be, climbing on, touching or otherwise repositioning any Buddha for better photo-ops is in extremely poor taste. If you really must have that photo of you kissing the Buddha, buy your own and get a room, as they say.

While You’re At It Don’t Touch The Monks Either
My girlfriend once met a monk in Bangkok who happened to hail from her hometown back in New York. She was so excited to hear his Long Island accent that she punched him – playfully – in the shoulder. The look of shock on his face was more than enough to remind her never to touch the monks, even the ones named Vinnie Moretti. This rule applies most strictly to women, as the monks have taken a strict vow of chastity that forbids any physical contact with the opposite sex. Handshakes are generally ok for men (although similarly forbidden when in contact with nuns), but why not just avoid contact all together and clasp your own hands together in a respectful, prayer-like greeting.

Ask First, Shoot Later
Most temples allow photography of the grounds and shrines, but photographing worshippers or ceremonies in action - even discreetly - is a major faux pas. I once saw a Thai woman, shouting wildly and brandishing a fistful of burning incense, chase a photographer out of her local temple because he’d snapped a few (flash!) photographs of people praying. Few actions are more insensitive than the unauthorized photography of someone’s deeply personal, spritual moment.

Do You Smell That?
Lighting an incense stick is a great way to participate in the Buddhist tradition of offerings. If there’s an offering dish, leave a small donation in exchange for the stick or pinch that you take. If it’s powdered incense, take a pinch and simply drop it into the urn after offering a silent prayer. If it’s a stick, light it and then wave your hand to extinguish the flame rather than blowing on it. Hold it in front of you for a few moments, contemplate how grateful you are to be in this amazing place and then leave it behind as a symbol of your ongoing quest for inner peace.