Photo Essay: The 'Shelf of Tat'

"tat";

noun
1. tastelessness by virtue of being cheap and vulgar [syn: cheapness]

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Two years ago, a challenge was set in my office - to bring back the worst possible souvenir from our travels. The contest is simple: everytime someone from the office goes on holiday, their mission is to hunt down the ugliest and most ridiculous souvenir possible. In other words, a piece of "tat".

The contest is simple, and so are the main two rules. First and foremost, the souvenir you bring back must be tat - anything that is deemed by majority vote to be good results in immediate disqualification. We like 'em nasty. Second, you must spend the least amount of money possible. We also like 'em cheap. It doesn't get much more complicated than that.

Having said that, a wiley tat-hunter can play strategically for bonus points, under the following criteria:
1. Show me the money. A price tag proudly displaying how low you could go will do you well.
2. Completely useless? If it lacks all functionality and purpose, we want to see it!
3. Buy it broken. A damaged piece of tat is an amazing discovery - but don't try and haggle the price with the vendor, the price you see is the price you have to pay.
4. Danger is our middle name. Bring something back that takes viewers to the edge - if your tat is potentially dangerous, move to the front of the queue.

All items agreed to be tat then earn a place of honour on the Shelf of Tat amongst the 40+ other pieces currently in the collection.

Main picture:
Back (Left to Right): Windsor snow globe, German Lederhosen boy, Greek olive-oil soap, Australian dinner bell, Las Vegas pyramid snow 'globe', glow-in-the-dark Virgin Mary, Prague dinner bell

Front (Left to Right): Barcelona snow globe, Malaysian tooth pick holder, Swedish moose, Statue of Liberty, Belgian peeing boy, Welsh snow globe (broken), Romeo and Juliet from Verona

And some of my personal favourites...

Broken sheep snow globe:
From a trip to Wales, a member of the team got this great snow globe. Completely smashed, it is now just a sheep on a plinth. Double bonus points awarded: not only is it broken, but it is also dangerous due to the sharp shards of glass still embedded.

Brussels' Manneken Pis:
The peeing boy of Brussels. Apparently the city's most popular tourist attraction. No, I don't know why either. This piece of tat holds a special place, as he actually comes with pee.

Virgin Mary statue:
From the Vatican, a glow-in-the-dark Virgin Mary plastic statue. You can't get much better than that.

Greek olive-oil soap:
Soap. From Athens. Quite a random souvenir, but it's ok as it comes with a fridge magnet too - obviously! Bonus points awarded here for the price being visible, and because it was already open when purchased. I had to convince the vendor to actually sell it to me.

Malaysian tooth pick holder:
Again, nothing special about this tacky little entry, but it holds a special place for me because of the fantastic deal I was offered at the time - "Buy one, 2 ringits.. buy two, 4 ringits", outstanding.

Swedish moose:
A moose. From Sweden. Reclining, as moose are wont to do.

So next time you're on holiday and you see that amazing hand-crafted tribal mask, the superbly scultured bust, or some other tasteful mantelpiece ornament - walk on by. Keep going to the back of store and dig around in the crap that gets carelessly kicked under the shelving. That's where the real gems are.