How To: Catch a Wave of Hospitality and Couch Surf All Over the World

Haven't you often said, "If only I knew someone I could stay with in Italy or France or Brazil or San Diego or that town where my kid wants to look at a college?" In the true comaraderie of common spirits of those who love to travel and to meet new people, there is a group dedicated to helping you to fiind that friend. Remember Will Rogers said, "A stranger is just a friend I haven't met." There are people all over the country and even the world who will welcome you with open arms if you aren't too fussy about your accommodations. Maybe it really is just a saggy old sofa in the living room, or maybe it is a guest suite; the point is you can afford to travel because you save money on all those over priced hotels that decimate your travel budget.

OK, I hear you. What about all the weirdos and dangerous people out there? Well, no one can say it is impossible that some low life doesn't discover this site, but there is some checking and people who stay somewhere report back on their experiences. You could always wait until someone else tried a sofa out first. If there is a bad report from anyone, it is carefully checked out, and people can be banned from the site if the complaints are legitimate. The site has many suggestions for how to protect yourself, both as a host and a surfer. For example, you may want to meet your guests elsewhere before they come to your home, and if you get bad vibes, you can bail out. I felt confident because my guests had numerous references, so they came directly to my house.

This is an option most used by the 20-30 somethings, but there are plenty of listings from those of us who are over 50. I was glad my young couple had not written me off as automatically too over the hill. I wish I were someone rolling in the cash, but I am not, and I suspect I am not the only "grownup" for whom financial comfort is elusive, darn it. There is a group specifically for "Over 50." There are a number of special interest groups. One that is intriguing to me is a Photography Group, and sometimes those people say they will help you find, even take you to, the best photographic sites in thier area. Doesn't that make your trigger finger itchy? What's not to love there?

I just had my very first couch surfers stay at my house this weekend. I have to admit it helped me take the plunge when I saw this couple had visited with many people, and every single host or hostess raved about how easy and personable they were. I didn't even tell my less adventurous husband the truth; I told him they were friends of a friend who needed a place to stay. He's more in the mind set of you can't trust strangers, who knows where the next axe murderer hovers, so I will break it to him later (maybe) after we are alive and well. However, although I know to be cautious when necessary, I have had many incredible experiences with strangers and tend to be
almost melancholy about all the people I will never know whom I would just enjoy so much if we had an introduction. Couch surfing provides an introduction and you take it from there. Each person registers, gives information about himself, includes a picture, says where they have traveled and what they do and are interested in.

I signed up my own place, knowing Raleigh, NC, wouldn't have the draw of Honolulu or Paris, but, hey, we have gardens, museums, good eating, great hospitals, fine universities, big-time sports--what's not to love? The host/hostess is really only responsible for allowing a person, couple, family (you designate) to spend the night or perhaps several at their home. Some people do more, but only if they choose to. Hosts might offer to help them find their way around or feed them or something, but that part is up to you. I just had bagels and orange juice on hand, and that was fine, but even that was unnecessary.

The couple who stayed here were charming and interesting, and we discovered we have a lot in common. She is a professor working on her PhD dissertation, and he works for a bank and is writing a book about the Roman Forum. She is from Spain and is living on the West Coast far from family. He has couch surfed about 15 times, but she, both as a young single attractive woman and as half of a couple, has surfed about 40 or more times. She has stayed with many strangers here in this country but also in several European countries and Mexico. She told me she has never had anything even approaching a bad experience, although once she actually slept on the floor of a bedroom while the host couple slept in their bed. Now, that's too cozy for me, but I guess you do what you have to do. She told me sometimes she has slept on sofas, but about 75% of the time, she has been offered her own bedroom. Professionally, she is expected to attend conferences alll over the US at her own expense, and this is a way she can afford to build her career and resume'. I liked the guy because he was interested in some framed medieval manuscripts I have, and that indicates an interesting person and a healthy curiosity to me. When you hear people's stories, it just makes you want to be a part of a solution for them.

If I can ever afford a plane ticket, I am going to try this out. It may just be the difference in my being able to make some travel dreams come true. I personally definitely will look for people who have a proven track record, although I am sure there are many untested sofas that are perfect.

Restore your faith in humanity and celebrate the fact that most people really are kind and generous, especially fellow travelers on a budget.

So hang ten, and if you want to come to Raleigh, let me know.